The Check-in is The Ancient Medicine

I was checking in with a friend last night as she had a vulnerable share.

Most of us have a stronger side or a Strong Friends, if you are a Mother, you "automatic" self-trained to be the strongest one in the family - The Divine Mother Achetype.

I’ve been the strong one most of my life for my family and my siblings, as I am the eldest one.

The one people come to when things fall apart.

The one who can hold it, pray through it, and keep showing up.

But I’m blessed—because my people see me.
They don’t leave me in the dark with my own light.

I shared with them and they checked on me.
They remind me I’m allowed to rest and fill up my cup.

The strong one is usually the one Spirit speaks through.

The Dream Weaver, the clarity giver...

And others... the ones who pour into others' cups are likely drained behind closed doors.

They did not need you to explain. They could tell by how you laughed. How your eyes were fighting back tears.

That was the check-in, noticing what you did not say and sitting a little closer because of it.

This isn't new. We have always checked on the strong ones not because they asked but because we saw them as clearly as they saw us.

Today, people wait until the strong one breaks. We used to gather before they had to.

Being the strong one takes a toll. People forgot you have needs because you are so good at tending to theirs. It builds up in the body, in the spirit, in the corners no one thought to check.

Nobody's meant to carry it all. Even the one with the vision needs rest. Even the one with the prayers needs checking on.

Don't wait until they break to ask how their heart is holding up.

Show up with a plate,

Rub the back

Sit with the person until in silence just making sure the person was not holding it alone.

When you ignore the strong one, you miss more than their pain. You miss the quiet shifts, the distance, the heaviness they stopped naming out loud. The one who goes silent are often closest to the edge.

The Check - In is The Medicine.

The Check-in is The Ancient Medicine.

Not advice.

Not a fix.

Just presence.

Just a real.

" I see you"...

and I mean it.

If you’re the strong one…
I hope you’re being checked on, too.

And if you’re not—

This is me doing it now.